Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Leading Cause of Death

Roger's step-mother, Beverly, (we called her Bebs) passed away Wednesday night after a long battle with colon cancer. She and dad had been married for 11 years. And, even though she is now pain-free and with the Lord, we are very sad...especially for dad. Roger's mother died from ovarian cancer in 1994, so we are so sad to see him have to go through this again. Dad tends to be quite a philosophical man, and one of his many lofty quotes is, "The leading cause of death is life. And we all have a terminal case." I've thought about this many times over the last few weeks as we've known Bebs' time was coming to an end. Even though I understand, and can even appreciate the meaning, it doesn't really make me feel any better. When my mother died, there were several well-meaning people that would say things like, "You should be glad she's in a better place." (What? I should be glad?) Or, "You can be thankful she's not in pain anymore." (I'm supposed to be thankful?) Or, my favorite, "God will always bring good from our pain...perhaps someone came to know the Lord because of her death." I look back now and know they weren't trying to intentionally be unkind... but all I could feel was the pain of her absence. I didn't care if somebody got saved bcause of her death! I wanted her here. Our relationship with Bebs is obviously not as deep as the relationship with my mother, but we are still sad that she is gone and would have liked for her to be around a lot longer. She is the only grandmother my children have ever known.

7 comments:

Jarrod Flaming said...

I understand. I've been there with my Dad 4 years ago this December. I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Bekah said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! Your family will be in my prayers.

Becky said...

So sorry for your and Roger's loss. And, for the kiddos, too. No matter how you look at it, death is so hard. It was never meant to be (in the beginning). Thinking and praying for you guys.

Melissa Flaming said...

We love you guys. I am sorry it hurts so much. Let it hurt as long as you need to.
Much love to your family.

Mom Keena said...

I know Bebs was very special to your family. We'll keep you in our prayers, and Dad Youmans, too, as he begins to face the new changes that this brings. Love you guys!

Sun-Kissed Savages said...

I'm so sorry. Separation is never easy. :-(

Lynn said...

Sorry to hear about your family's loss Trish. Your Father-in-law sounds like my husband (death is caused by life). I'm so sorry for the kiddos. My thoughts and prayers are with you.....